Be Kinder

The last few weeks I've been struggling. I've been struggling with a lack of kindness. The hardest part? It's not my own.

Shortly after I got sober, I cut my social media back drastically. I cut my followers and people I follow down to my closest friends and family. I didn't want any distractions, and to be honest, I really dislike social media and the negative effects it can have on people in general. That being said, about 5 months ago when I was in one of the hardest and best parts of my recovery, I decided that it was time to start using social media for something that I am insanely passionate about. I decided to start recovering out loud. I began sharing my journey and encouraging others who, like me, struggle with addiction and recovery.

My First Public Post

I was prepared for people to roll their eyes. I was prepared for people to be irritated that my page went from all about my kids to 99.9% recovery. I was prepared for never gaining a single follower or having any engagement (because that's not what I was doing it for). I was prepared to "fail".

What I wasn't prepared for?

Friends and family I would have considered my closest, unfollowing or blocking me.

Strangers leaving negative comments all day long every single day.

Strangers spewing hatred, telling me that I'd be better off dead.

Strangers telling me my children would be better off without me.

Strangers being so unkind that I contemplated giving up.

The funny thing is, the comments don't bother me. Their opinions don't bother me. But the constant stream of negativity... that bothers me. It wears you down until you're so tired you just don't want to look at it anymore. Until you want to lash out and fight back even though you know everything they're saying is false.

And then my husband gave me this...

These words were everything I needed. They were refreshing and motivating. This attitude described here serves me because I feel better when I am being kind. No matter how badly someone treats me, it has never felt good to return their unkindness.

So, I will continue to be kind. I will continue to serve them. I will serve them with kindness and compassion. I will serve them with love and care. And I will continuing showing up for the people that I committed to. The people that are in need of motivation and help.

I will continue fulfilling my purpose. And I will be kinder than them.