Before I quit drinking, I was on antidepressants for over a year. The medication and alcohol created a cycle that I didn’t understand at the time. In the morning when I woke up I was anxious, irritable, and sad, so I took my medication, and I would spend my day in a fog wanting my happy self back… and because I didn't know how to cope, I would drink, and I would feel better. I relaxed. I felt light and playful. I felt free. And then I would go to bed, wake up, and my “depression” would strike again. So the cycle continued.
FYI:
Alcohol. Is. A. Depressant.
“What? No way! Not for me. When I drink I’m so fun. I’m happier and relaxed. I’m the life of the party, and I love it. It allows me to escape my depression.” Been there. Thought that. And even though my depression came about at the same time my drinking had became concerning to me, that’s still what I told myself. Over and over again.
From the get-go my anti-depressant didn't work as well as it should have, and as my drinking got worse, the medication hardly had any effect at all. I told myself it was genetic. I couldn’t fix it. It was just who I was, and I probably needed a stronger prescription.
Listen up:
Alcohol isn’t a depressant that only strikes while you are sipping your glass of wine. Alcohol is a Central Nervous System depressant, meaning it slows brain function and neural activity. It interferes with the chemicals that are vital for good mental health. As someone who was drinking almost every single day, my body and brain didn’t have time to recoup.
When I stopped drinking, the first 45 days or so were extremely hard. Looking back, I can see that my body was detoxing and it was not pleasant. Around 60 days I was feeling so much better emotionally that I decided to forgo renewing my antidepressant prescription (always consult your doctor first). I was nervous, but I needed something about giving up alcohol to feel positive. I needed a win. I stopped taking it, and I waited and waited and waited for that anxiety and depression to come back, but it didn’t. Over time, I felt even better than I did before. I had more energy, less stress, and I truly felt free for the first time in a very long time. I wasn't living my life in a constant fog, and I found the happiness and freedom I was searching for in being sober and present.
I truly had no idea before getting sober that alcohol was a legitimate depressant that could have an effect on you beyond your buzz and hangover. I wasn't educated on it because I hadn't sought the information out. Would I have stopped drinking had I known? Honestly, probably not, but [at the very least] I wouldn't have spent a year ingesting a medication that didn't work properly, had negative side effects, and I simply shouldn't have been taking.
So, alcoholism aside, I encourage everyone to seek out information on what you are consuming and be conscious of the side effects that could potentially last beyond that moment. Beyond the buzz of that drink. Beyond the numbing effect of that pill. Beyond the high of that energy drink or dip. Whatever it is. Be knowledgeable and make informed decisions.
And if you are suffering from depression and coping with alcohol, reach out. Seek help. I promise you...
there is freedom on the other side of your addiction and it's beautiful.
*I know that depression and anxiety are very serious topics and not everyone who suffers from one or both is someone who drinks or is an alcoholic. I'm simply sharing my personal experience, and the knowledge that I did not have prior to it, with the hope to help anyone experiencing the same. Always consult your doctor and do what is best for you.*
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