You May Now Kiss The Bride

This coming Friday, June 11th my youngest brother is getting married, and I am so incredibly excited. I love weddings and celebrations, and this will be the first one that I get to attend completely sober. I won't be worrying about what there is to drink, or if anyone will notice how much I've had. There will be no chance that I'll have one too many (or five too many) and embarrass myself or my family. I can laugh and dance and have fun with no worry that someone is eyeballing me for being a little too rambunctious.

Six months ago I probably wouldn't have been this excited... Honestly, I probably would have been more anxious than excited because being around people drinking made me extremely uncomfortable. I was not confident in my sobriety AT ALL, and I was overly worried that my sobriety and lack of drink in hand was somehow making other people uncomfortable which, in turn, made me feel awkward and out of place...

You know that funny scene with Will Ferrell in Talladega Nights when he can’t figure out what to do with his hands? That’s how I felt not having a drink in my hand. Sometimes my head would get the best of me, and I'd end up feeling incredibly awkward around people who were drinking. It's not because I miss drinking or because I'm uncomfortable being around it. My discomfort had absolutely nothing to do with either of those things. It was 100% a made up scenario in my head. The real problem is NOT the people and their drinks or even that fact that I didn't have one...because frankly I don't miss it. The actual problem is that I was so wrapped up in my head thinking that other people were judging me. Thinking that I was making the people around me uncomfortable. Thinking that I no longer fit in. Thinking that they wouldn't invite me back. I was so dang busy thinking about what other people may have been thinking about me that I didn't take the time to think about how I actually felt.

STOP THINKING SO MUCH! Every situation is what YOU make of it. 

It took a while and some pretty "uncomfortable" situations, but I got over that. I got over worrying about other people and their opinions, and I focused on mine. Want to know my opinion? Giving up alcohol was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Possibly the best because if I hadn't given it up, I wouldn't be able to enjoy any of the other amazing things and people in my life. So, why does what Suzy with the margarita thinks of me matter? It doesn't! No one's opinion of me matters but my own.

No one's opinion of YOU matters but YOUR OWN.

So, this Friday I won't be worrying about whether or not there is enough alcohol or how much I can drink without someone noticing. I won't be worrying about how anyone else is looking at me, or what they may be thinking of me. I will be enjoying the day and evening celebrating my brother and my new sister-in-law. I will be soaking in every beautiful moment, and the next day I will remember every single one of them. And you know what? It's going to be easy because I am happy and confident in the person I am and the decisions I have made. It will be easy because I know exactly where I want to go in life, and alcohol has no place there.