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Your Words

The way we speak about others reveals who WE are. Not who THEY are.

When someone is speaking negatively about you, it has more to do with their internal struggle or their own unhappiness than it has to do with what they truly think about you. Unfortunately, I know this from experience.

I hate to admit that I have been on both the giving and receiving end of negative talk. For years I was so incredibly unhappy, and I'm sad to admit that I found relief in other people's struggles and weaknesses. It never made me feel good to point out someone else's shortcomings, but it made me feel less alone. It also lessened my fear that someone would notice my own bad habits and shortfalls. If I was pointing out someone else's drunkenness, surely no one would notice my own! If I pointed out another mom's lack of patience, surely mine would seem tiny in comparison. Every word I said was a reflection of my own insecurities and weaknesses.

After being on the receiving end of gossip and nastiness many times, you would think that I would know better than to stoop to that level, but sometimes we lose sight of what is right when we are focused on our own fears. Whether it comes from wanting to fit in, to deflect, to boost our confidence... I think most of us have gossiped or put someone down at some point, and even though we know it's wrong, in that moment it protects us somehow. The problem is we are protecting the wrong things - our ego, our addiction, our fear, our inability to grow - when we should be protecting and lifting up those around us.

The solution is to look internally. What are we lacking in our lives that causes us to put someone else's down? What do we gain by wasting our time being negative? How can we grow in confidence and contentment?

When we are happy with ourselves and our own lives, we have no reason to speculate or speak about anyone else’s...especially in a negative way.


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